Dimension 1 of 10
Relationship Connection & Overall Climate
The felt state of your marriage day to day — how alive, warm, and invested the connection is, beneath everything else you’re managing.
This score names the underlying climate the rest of the marriage runs on. A strong reading means the warmth is reaching both of you. A strained reading means the daily texture has cooled — the kind of slow drift most couples miss until it costs them.
If this scores low
You’re co-managing a household more than building a life together.
If this scores high
There’s a steady current of warmth and investment underneath the day.
Dimension 2 of 10
Communication & Honest Expression
Whether the real conversations are actually happening — in both directions — and whether what matters most is making it into words.
This score reveals how much of what matters is staying inside one of your heads. Strong here means truth is moving freely between you. Strained means important things are getting filed away unsaid — which is where most long-term resentment quietly originates.
If this scores low
Important things stay inside your head — easier than the conversation.
If this scores high
What matters gets named, even when it’s hard to bring up.
Dimension 3 of 10
Emotional Safety & Vulnerability
Whether it actually feels safe to be real with each other — and whether honesty brings you closer or quietly costs too much.
This score reads the emotional risk-cost of being honest in your marriage. A strong reading means vulnerability gets met. A strained reading means one or both of you have learned to self-protect — which slowly empties the relationship of the closeness that drew you together.
If this scores low
You edit yourself before you speak, more than you used to.
If this scores high
Being real with each other still draws you closer, not further apart.
Dimension 4 of 10
Being Seen, Heard & Valued
Whether you feel genuinely known by your spouse — and whether you are genuinely knowing them right now, not who they were five years ago.
This score reflects how much accurate knowing is happening between you. Strong means you each feel met as the person you actually are today. Strained means one of you is being related to as a version of yourself that is years out of date — a quiet, persistent ache most couples never name.
If this scores low
You feel related to as someone you used to be, not who you are now.
If this scores high
You feel met as the person you actually are today.
Dimension 5 of 10
Trust, Respect & Reliability
The bedrock qualities — trust, respect, follow-through — that hold a marriage up over time, or quietly erode it from underneath.
This score reveals what your marriage is actually built on. Strong means the foundation is sound and you can keep building. Strained means the load-bearing structure is cracking — and everything else you’re trying to do together gets harder until this is addressed.
If this scores low
You wonder, quietly, whether you can fully count on each other.
If this scores high
You can build the rest of life on what’s underneath you here.
Dimension 6 of 10
Conflict, Repair & Unresolved Hurt
What happens when things go wrong between you — and whether genuine repair is taking place or hurt is just accumulating.
This score names how much of your conflict is actually finishing. Strong means ruptures get repaired and the slate clears. Strained means hurts are stacking — each new conflict landing on top of older ones that never fully resolved, which is how marriages end up far from where they started without a clear cause.
If this scores low
Old hurts keep showing up inside new arguments.
If this scores high
When something breaks, you actually find your way back to each other.
Dimension 7 of 10
Physical Intimacy & Affection
Embodied connection — not just the physical act, but what the space between you reflects about everything else in the marriage.
This score often reads the rest of the marriage with unsettling accuracy. Strong here usually means the broader connection is alive. Strained here usually means something further upstream — emotional, relational — is asking to be addressed before the physical layer can return.
If this scores low
Physical closeness has become a topic instead of a current.
If this scores high
Affection moves easily between you, in and out of the bedroom.
Dimension 8 of 10
Partnership, Roles & Shared Load
How the actual work of shared life gets handled — and whether both of you feel the weight, or only one of you does.
This score reads whether you’re functioning as one team or two parallel operations. Strong means the load is genuinely shared and both of you feel it. Strained means one of you is carrying invisibly more — which builds quiet resentment long before it surfaces as an explicit complaint.
If this scores low
One of you is carrying load the other can’t quite see.
If this scores high
You move through the work of life as one team, not two.
Dimension 9 of 10
Personal Ownership & Self-Leadership
Your own internal state — your self-awareness, your willingness to lead yourself first, before asking anything of your spouse.
This is the only dimension where your score is fully about you. Strong means you can see your own contribution clearly and act on it. Strained means you’re more aware of your spouse’s part than your own — which keeps the marriage stuck no matter how much your spouse changes, because half of the system isn’t being led.
If this scores low
You see your spouse’s part clearly and your own only vaguely.
If this scores high
You can name your own contribution and act on it without being asked.
Dimension 10 of 10
Vision, Purpose & Spiritual Direction
Whether this marriage still has a direction worth building toward — and whether you have shared clarity on where you’re actually headed.
This score reads whether your marriage has a future big enough to pull you forward. Strong means there’s a shared horizon you’re both reaching toward. Strained means you’re maintaining the present without a sense of where you’re going — which over time turns even a fine marriage into one that feels stuck.
If this scores low
You’re maintaining a present neither of you has chosen lately.
If this scores high
There’s a shared direction you’re both reaching toward.
